everything is riding on this (really)

is it wrong, to have so much hope? oh sooo much, i feel like i'm bursting...
i want to cry ...
i try not to allow myself to think otherwise, it just has to!


photo credit: alicia evans

"what is your current obessesion?"

What is your current obsession?
i am always obsessing, lately its knitting, knitting, knitting/designing knits, status anxiety, oh what to read, & my bare legs, lack of the mighty dollar, in no particular order.

What is your weirdest obsession?
oh currently i obsess about my fear of sleeping

What do you see outside your window?
my balcony, & the chalk murals that have taken over c/o little enid, as well grass & trees w/ a dark night sky, i like it...as well the apartment across from me!
What is your favourite colour?
teal

What is your weakness?
probaly my ol' man, always has been...aka love, falling in & out of...

What animal would you be?
amy kind of pack animal i suppose, well maybe not a lioness, they get stuck with all the work

What would you like to learn how to do?
be more of a go-getter, oh & to learn to speak other languages, french fluently first, & to use my sewing machine, put some of these thrifted sewing patterns to good use.

What do you want to never happen in life?
... i think i'ii skip this one...


What is on your bedside table?
alarm clock, my pretty deer lamp i love it so, & empty glasses, clutter, ect

What's the last thing you bought?
a vintage caramel purse, i couldn't resist, it was on etsy, so the transactions always feel more painless, & i can justify it sorta because it means i sold something, & we also bought enid's bday gifts (she'll be 7!)

What do you think about the person that tagged you?
anabela is the most wonderful person i have never met in person yet

What was your favourite children's book?
elizabeth by liesel moak skorpen, but its really all about the illustrations by martha alexandra.
as well, anne of green gables series (of course i'm canadian), all of laura ingalls wilder & her little house on the prairie books, anything by judy blume, oh & lastly, this one is pretty embarrassing the flower in the attic books, (had to hide these ones from my mom)



Who do you want to meet in person?
my mother at my age now

What did you want to be as a child?
a ballerina, or a writer, or a doctor, or an artist, or a librarian, or a fashion designer,
or a .....ect, ect

What did you dream about last night?
i'm having a blank on this one

Which do you prefer, day or night?
night of course!


What's your favourite piece of clothing in your closet?
i'm so tired of my boring wardrobe, i can't think of a thing,

What's your plan for tomorrow?
dull running of errands, but i'm looking forward to jason lee waking me up with coffee in
the morning, he promised

What would you like to get your hands on right now?
a coconut soy shake

What is your must have of the moment?
i'm dreaming of a perfectly thrifted summer dress complete with self-ties, elastic shearing & pretty floral vintage fabric, or maybe stripes

What's your favourite tea flavour?
anything with ginger in a green tea, & english breakfast as my standard

If you could go anywhere is the world right now, where would you go?
can i please go to paris, or maybe new york (again!)

this is where you pick a question of your own, here is mine:
what would others find surprising about you?
i don't own a cell phone & have no plans to get one either,
(its not that i haven't owned one, of course i have, but its so nice w/out...)


i tag anyone who would like to do this survey

tagged! always & never!

i've been tagged by one of my favorite ladies, anabela of fieldguided to write my list of five "always-es" and five "nevers." The rules are that these must be fashion-related, that I have to tag three people, and that I can post any pictures I would like to post.

because anabela said it best, here it is again: "Please remember that this is what works or doesn't work for me personally, and I don't mean any offense by this list! "

so basically i tag ANYONE who would like to do it! so please do, & i've noticed many wonderful lists out there, for example: fieldguided, clevernettle,& teh original here dear golden!

always

1. banged & brunette, always brunette, darker & lighter shades, sometimes a tad auburn, but always a brunette, & i've had short & long locks, but always a thick fringe of bangs, i can't remember a time when i did not, its called having two ridiculous refusing to be tamed cowlicks


(jennifer of royal trux, remember them? she was my first banged crush influence)

2. blush, always i wear blush, i am so pale & i love blush, thats all

3. a-line, knee-length skirts or dresses with a high-waist, its really all my legs can get away with, & it works, hiding mommy hips, unslightly pasty white gams, sorry to be so hard on you legs that hold me up so well, but...

4. belts, always belts because you can get away with anything, belts will fix it

5. bikini panties with a full bum, yup including unsightly pantyline, always wear em

nevers

1. tanning, oh no never tanning
2. vintage fur:, no not even vintage fur, as much as i am so drawn to vintage fur hats & stolls, just can't

3. turtlenecks or mock necks, i'm that girl with less of a chin, ain't gonna happen

4. blonde, i'm perceived as flaky enough

5. flip flops, no way

i'm so over that, but still....

recently one of my regular blogs to read clevernettle wrote such an amusing & so funny blog entry here which begins "it's very difficult to keep the line between the awesome and the annoying"
that i have to say it got me thinking of my own annoyances of things i'm so over, but i think i'm soooo annoyed by the following three things since i still can't let go of them;

my first annoyance is NYLON magazine, which i have book shelves & book shelves of, since the beginning my friends, yet i think it really sucks, i have to say the first myspace themed issue was when i knew this magazine had definitely died & gone to a younger neon tweened out place for me... yet,guess what i still buy it... i blame the fact that i can't get the magazines i really joy, such as lula, or they are imports therefore being so damn expensive like id or dazed & confused...





my second annoyance is h&m,oh i hate h& m for always being conveniently located in those awful things called malls, & for carrying the same trendy design season after season, just in new flimsy see-through fabric, how many times do i have to see that dress i bought three years ago come back to life in another colour with varying button details, its embarrassing, (or just making so much of the very same thing, so everyone is wearing it too)...guess what though... i just bought some throw away sunglasses & a cheap 15$ black sundress because it looked close enough to vintage...& i am really coveting a turquoise romper that my legs would never let me wear anyhow, but still... & again can i ask why is everything transparent?



my third annoyance is weddings, you see i'm even engaged, it'll be a very, very long unending engagement, we have those romanticized notions of a runaway wedding in cuba maybe, with the perfect honeymoon dream in paris or new york, but honestly, who wants to shell out all those bucks...well not this girl & her baby's daddy, i mean were filing bankruptcy this week officially, & i just want the honeymoon anyhow, can we have the honeymoon & a pretty vintage wedding dress & someone to ask us to say i do for free please...
guess what i just favorited this dress on etsy, i'm still in love with weddings, dammit....

a party frock with my heart on its sleeve

i can't help it, its completely silly, but i honestly feel quite attached to a few clothes sometimes, & even clothes that i haven't properly worn...sometimes its from a time of course, pure nostalgic,...other times its simply seeing it as almost what could of been...or should be...
this makes it really hard to part with so many pretty items in the darling brigade shop, but i always envision happy scenarios & outings for that item, am i nuts?

in particular i've had a hard time of it to let this particular very pretty teal dress go...its a doll of a dress... but its time....


i hope this will be grabbed up by a sweet party gal, i've pretty much hung up my party frock wearing days, this one was never even worn, i just love it so much though... it deserves to have fun, debauchery nights ahead, to be head over heels for someone, requirements: girl must love gin & tonics, with lime...red wine just wouldn't suit this dress! & must wear heart on her sleeve...;)

click on above image to go directly to the listing!

just yesterday...

just yesterday...(read the rest over at the Darling Brigade blog pretty please!)

good ol' time exhibitionism to shake it off

some good ol' time exhibitionism never hurt anyone...its been awhile...
sometimes i regret that girl i was, that girl who was sometimes naked...
& sometimes i miss her naivety...
tah-tahs never hurt anyone though, right?!

windchill, bowling, sweet potatoe fries & a beer

this is the windchill,

this is the bowling, (or waiting to bowl & for uncle geoffrey)

this is where i got the wonderful $2 sweet potatoe fries,

& this is the nursing a beer



& this i s all how easy it is!

forget the other shit that gets you down.

indoor picnic

oh winter, what am i going to do with you?

i'm mostly a baby about the cold...seriously it is the best time to be laid off, outta work(well a out of the house kinda work), ...you gotta give me credit for mom duties, alongside knitting shop duties, ummm but the afternoons alone i thought i would learn all about my new leica lens camera & take cute inspired pics, no such luck, winters are *dark days impossible for light & pretty photos...mostly i am up early & to bed very late, & in between stuff i watch whenever i can sneak in madmen while knitting... (i'm insane about this show, lemme tell you! so far i'm season 1, episode 7 ).
*video of inside costume design of madmen
*video of 1962 hair & makeup of madmen

lately i've been transferring my etsy earnings to the bank, instead of using it as mad$, like before, for now anyhow...but it seems so many things are turning up in my favorites...
just a sample...(1.fieldguided.etsy,2. elizzavella.etsy, 3.kitbits.etsy, 4.ginchygear,)

edited to include smitten for cowgirls too

this cowgirl isn't exactly convincing anyone, but smitten-worthy & overly-romanticized none the less...

sucker for a girl w/ red lips & grease

sometimes i'm just smitten for girls in those overly romanticised 40s (wartime era) factory photos...

don't blame the ecomony.no. please.

its not the economy, & i couldn't be more bored over the word anyhow...

i was laid off yesterday, i was a camera salesgirl, i'm not one for having much salesgirl charisma, not excatly surprising, i'm too awkward, too self-conscious, as well as having unnecessary bitterness about the whole idea of selling over-priced things to people they don't need, ect, something like that...it confuses even me. OH WELL! but i was laid off on the terms of lacking sales performance, puhlease, & i even think the word economy might have been thrown in. oh dear!

maybe 2009 is turning out to be a happier year for me already!
i think this embarrassed feeling will go away soon too.

for those daydreaming of quitting your job

if your work day is anything like mine, the words "i quit" are constantly on the tip of your tongue too, & if only these forbidden words could be spoken, this work day of emotional drain w/ no pay-off would be over.
but i'm telling ya, there is this inspiration that there is a way out, & i gotta hold on! congrats rebecca.



from the article, i devour these words of wisdom..."My life feels legitimate now. I'm living as ME, every single day. I'm no longer waiting for the day when I can live my dream. Lucky for me, I didn't realize the possibilities until now, when I feel I can handle it. A few years ago I might have been too impulsive with everything.

My advice to my previous self would be to believe in yourself, and give yourself more credit. Insecurity slows you down while you wait for reassurance. Also, accept help when it is offered. I've lugged many a heavy box around because of my stubborn independence. And my advice to anyone else: you know if I'm talking to you, you know if you're supposed to do this, you dream about while you're awake and asleep. You don't need me to tell you to: just DO IT."

tag, you're it!

i was tagged, by one of my favorites, growin-UP, now its my turn to list my 6 favorites.
i suppose they are pretty obvious, but still i'm obviously happiest from them!

#1. fallin' in & outta love!


#2. spying on the kids playing together!
#3 having my outta town lover over!
#4. getting all dolled up & hitting the town, um this never happens too much!
#5. SUMMER, past, present & future!
#6. eating in chinatown! (which includes toronto & all that means to me)

ummm not sure if i took this too literally, or what but, anyhow...i tag... (so its there turn if they feel like to say the 6 randoms that make them happiest!)

photo jenny

loou

fieldguided

pinpals

hannah and landon

love granny